Hello, all - JoMal is back from the Crescent City
First off, I want to again thank all of you once again for your outpouring of support concerning my wife, who had a great trip and managed to enjoy the town to the fullest, as did I.
Considering that I was in meetings and sessions from Monday through Saturday morning, we still got out and around the town quite a bit. The zoo was particularly great, the D-Day Museum is massive and hard to see in a short visit, and we tried some new restaurants and found one in particular worth going back to. We also reconnected with some locals we have become friendly with in previous visits and found out how the town is acually doing in the post Katrina period. I do feel I know that town very well, though.
Back to the real issue at hand. I have reviewed your communiqu?s from last week and narrowed my choice down to.....one team.
But let's review by poster, each arguement to bring JoMal on board as their newest fanwagoner.
Laker posters:
Laker Dan - one of my favorite protagonist on the board, my only complaint about you is your sporatic posting. More then that, on more then one occasion I have been taken aback by how similar our way of thinking appears. It is likely we have more in common then we both even know, not the least of which is problem youth, like westkoast, who apparently has no plans to grow old, nor any expectations for doing so. Darwinism at work, methinks.
WayOutWest - Ah, the old, "we hung out together and bonded so WHO'S YOUR DADDY?, arguement. Very powerful. And bribes are certainly an acceptible incentive to a true bandwagon recruit.
"Did a Spurs fan give you and excuse to leave work early?" No, but he gave my wife and I a very enjoyable evening out once.
"Did a Jazz fan buy you several rounds of beer"? When a Jazz fan buys ANYONE a round of beer, won't Joseph Smith, or Brigham Young come down and smite them a good one upside the head? However, Ted's wife was a tantalizing........oops.
Did a Sixers fan buy you an oyster sampler appetizer? As memory serves, I bought that appetizer. You shoved some crackers under my hand and said something like, "have at it, bro"
Did a Celtics fan take you back to the hotel and... Next time, confirm their ages, WOW.
It seems the Laker arguement has much to do with selling my soul to Satan or going over to the dark side. Not that this isn't a negative selling point, but something to weigh in with. Compared to rooting alongside westkoast, selling out to Satan doesn't look all that bad.
Randy -
"catatonic schizophrenia".
"...... chanting "Kobe for MVP."
Dissing Rick for being hypocritical along with WOW's Ice, ice baby reference. Clever.
The question is, do I look forward to suffering catatonic schizophrenia as I root for Kobe for MVP? Can I accomplish this without imploding over the next month or so while Satan plays paddle ball with my boys? Are a plate of oysters worth it?
westkoast - Somehow, I just can not see you resisting kicking my walker out from under me at my geriatic bar, nor wiping the drool from my face when the Laker Girls take the floor. Would you listen at my feet as I repeat and contradict myself for the twelfth time over who really shot Kennedy? Is there a rapper named Kennedy who got shot that I don't know about so you really have no idea to whom I am really referring too?
Can we ever converse without you mentioning my age, and thus clearly implying you know that I have more wisdom in my teeth then you will ever master in your crib?
msc -
Now HE could have put the Lakers way over the top, but, alas, we did not hear from him.
Spurs posters -
Reality did not even compete. A slag reference to Jazz loyalty notwithstanding, I would expect our resident bandwagoner to clear a path for the JoMal "buck-bored", but no.......
SPURSX3 - Is that your belt calling you home? I guess, because no peek of the JoMal psyche was forthcoming here either.
Lurker -
"He HAS to root for the Spurs. It is the only team that he can relate to since they are all old enough to be great grandfathers just like him."
My relative immaturity notwithstanding, your coach is too young for my tastes as well
.
"And thus another coattail riding heretic will be cast upon the earth to preach doom & gloom to all the denizens who are lucky enough to avoid association with that holy mecca: LA Cess Pool. Alas poor JoMal, methinks his mind may have been tricked by agents of the evil empire. The angst! The heartache! The waste of such a wonderful soul. Pray children that the darkness can be confined to the wretched kingdom of California."
How poetic. And how true about that wonderful soul. There is a Black Hole of Chowchilla waiting for any unsuspecting innocent to be sucked into if not careful. I am glad of your care in looking out for me......
Sixer posters -
Dabods - wherefore art thou, bods? Your Juliette awaits her Romeo, but instead just has Oreo crumbs to be washed down by dusty dregs of PA memories JoMal once cherished as a lad.
Rickortreat -
"Sorry JoMal, but Philly fans don't roll out the carpet for anyone." Who needs a carpet. Just a little love will do.
"People who are good at ass-kissing are pretty worthless when it comes to anything else!" But JoMal does not care if they are good at anything else, does he?
Then -
"Lakers Fans!?!? You cannot be serious. To even suggest you would associate with such, such... well, politeness prevents me from using the appropriate adjectives." Ah!!! If only you had, we might be talking serious Sixer smack right now!
"But really, how can you ignore your roots. The Sixers were your first team, weren't they? You can come back baby, Philly basketball never forgets!" Being from the area originally is very tempting, I must admit. And that the Sixers did a Piston pounding?? I teared up when I heard, I admit.
" Come JoMal, Oh Great One, please honor the Sixers with your earnest support. They are young and they are talented, and will one day earn your respect and give you satisfaction in watching a team grow." Oh so much like my own Kings in all respects.
Utah Posters -
Joe Vancil - Does he want me? I compete with him on some kind of poster board spiritual level that only he would understand. But his silence is deafening.
Skandery -
"JoMal is Yoda('s grandfather). Laker Fan is Obi-Wan (Alec Guiness on his last legs). But WOW is Jabba the Hut and (westkoast) Little Ani." Not to dwell on the fact that you, too, must have at one time met WOW as well, where is the JoMal respect from you, Skandery? Am I not worthy of some acknowledgement packed with patronizing platitudes? I think I am.
Ted -
"Everyone knows you hate the Jazz for their bloodthirsty "thuggery." " The finest forms of flattery often is found in the roots of verbalized distain.
"First of all, the whole united Californians thing is kind of funny when all those Smog Sniffers have berated your beloved Sacramento as a backwoods Cowtown for years" Sadly, my beloved CowTown is no more, replaced by a spawling metropolis that stretches to the horizon, as I noted as my plane approached the airport last night. And I know they envy me my air, up here in the California wetlands.
"Second, we Jazz fans need someone with the wisdom and experience to guide us into the exciting years to come. Everything about the Spurs is old and boring. They've had their time, won their titles. It's time for a new age, and despite the railings of other posters, your skills are too honed to waste them on a rapidly dulling knife like the Spurs." The truth doth hurt, but with Eva in the stands, are they not at least worth watching with the dim hope of seeing her pouty face in the crowd?
"You don't want to be just another drone of an evil empire, or another wasted talent cheering a team from a South Texan Retirement Home. You want to be part of the future, and the future needs you JoMal. All we've got in the way of "experience" is Joe, and he barely comes around anymore. The rest of youngsters need a guiding hand. Don't weild a butter knife, wield a newly forged blade made of pure, strong, athletic steel. Join the Jazz." My mother once wielded a butter knife....and I drone a lot.....and about the evil empire......and cowboy boots and a Texas ten gallon hat just make me look silly...and the future is out here in the west, not back in the least.
Yes, I have made my choice at last.........it is *$%#@*&#$
<SORRY, DABODS BOARD HAS LIMITED SPACE FOR POSTERS WHO ESPOUND ON THEIR OWN EGO GRATIFICATION BY DREAMING UP RIDICULOUS CONTESTS TO RECRUIT THEIR LIMITED TALENTS TO BANDWAGON OVER TO ANOTHER TEAM'S POINT OF VIEW, AND THIS POSTER JUST RAN OUT OF HIS>
