Author Topic: I LIVE!  (Read 2531 times)

Offline Ted

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I LIVE!
« on: December 19, 2007, 06:47:01 PM »
I am alive! It's a long story, but just let me say that was not my body in the car. I did indeed drive up the canyon, to clear my head, not to end my life. Seriously guys, do you really think the incoherent ramblings of a fifteenish twenty-six-year-old California techno-yuppie could drive to do damage to myself?

Anyway, I was driving up the canyon when I saw a bedraggled wayfarer trudging along the side of the road. It looked like he needed help, so I pulled over. He thanked me for the courtesy and said yes indeed he could use a ride down to town. I was sure I was talking with Mr. Lakermania of Phillyarena fame, the accent, the odor, the missing teeth; it was all there. Well, things took a turn for the uncomfortable when he pulled out a sawed-off "scatter gun" and started talking about some city that used to be next to a place called Gomorrah or something. And then he asked me if I'd ever read Deliverance; so when I came to a sharp turn I just bailed out and headed for the hills as fast as my feet would carry me. I never knew the feller never gained control of the car and lost half his face in the ensuing crash into Hobble Creek. I was too busy running away.

So there it is. I'm okay. Needless to say, Mrs. Ted is relieved. As for you JoMal . . .

What the FOXTROT CHARLIE UNIFORM KILO ARE YOU PLAYING AT? I'm supposedly dead for mere hours and you're making moves on my first wife . . . er . . . wife?! Real low man. Real low.

As far as that half-mast crap, well that's just unfair. I get really tired at work and . . . well . . . you know. Right? Guys? Anyone back up a bro here? It happens to everybody!
"You take him Perk!" ~Kevin Garnett

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Offline JoMal

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2007, 08:12:21 PM »
I am alive! It's a long story, but just let me say that was not my body in the car. I did indeed drive up the canyon, to clear my head, not to end my life. Seriously guys, do you really think the incoherent ramblings of a fifteenish twenty-six-year-old California techno-yuppie could drive to do damage to myself?

Anyway, I was driving up the canyon when I saw a bedraggled wayfarer trudging along the side of the road. It looked like he needed help, so I pulled over. He thanked me for the courtesy and said yes indeed he could use a ride down to town. I was sure I was talking with Mr. Lakermania of Phillyarena fame, the accent, the odor, the missing teeth; it was all there. Well, things took a turn for the uncomfortable when he pulled out a sawed-off "scatter gun" and started talking about some city that used to be next to a place called Gomorrah or something. And then he asked me if I'd ever read Deliverance; so when I came to a sharp turn I just bailed out and headed for the hills as fast as my feet would carry me. I never knew the feller never gained control of the car and lost half his face in the ensuing crash into Hobble Creek. I was too busy running away.

So there it is. I'm okay. Needless to say, Mrs. Ted is relieved. As for you JoMal . . .

What the FOXTROT CHARLIE UNIFORM KILO ARE YOU PLAYING AT? I'm supposedly dead for mere hours and you're making moves on my first wife . . . er . . . wife?! Real low man. Real low.

As far as that half-mast crap, well that's just unfair. I get really tired at work and . . . well . . . you know. Right? Guys? Anyone back up a bro here? It happens to everybody!

First off, checking to see if you are at half mast at work is just wrong, man.

And does this mean my date with your wife is postponed?

Plus...um....shouldn't that be FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO, if one is counting? 

I was just getting to like Dead Ted too. I know your wife certainly was.


Oh, you might like to know that, well, Lakermania when alive looked like he had lost half his face in a car accident. Also, it wasn't that he could not gain control of your car; that pretty much is how he drives, though when in LA, he often was found crashed on the concrete bottom of the LA River, slowly filling it up again after a few bottles of JB (no ice) imbibes.

Sorta glad you are bad, D-Ted, but next time make sure your life insurance is paid up, man!
"We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.....We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason.....We are not descended from fearful men, not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate and to defend causes that were for the moment unpopular....We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home."

Offline westkoast

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2007, 01:46:06 AM »
Wow I failed.  Looks like the Lakers and I have much more in common.  I just couldn't finish the job on an opponent.   Not to mention I got bested by someone who talks to burning bushes.  Don't worry my smug will soon be floating over your city making it just as beautiful when the sunsets as in Southern California.
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Offline WayOutWest

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2007, 09:37:05 AM »
WTF?

Guess I missed episode 1....or page 1....uhmmmm....congrats Ted?
"History shouldn't be a mystery"
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"Not his story"

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Offline Skandery

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2007, 11:26:11 AM »
Quote
Guess I missed episode 1....or page 1....uhmmmm....congrats Ted?

Check out "Kirilenko Happy" thread, WOW.


Good to know that should anyone come to an untimely end, JoMal will be there to <ahem> console our better halves.   :D
"But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality'. And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

Offline ziggy

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2007, 12:47:04 PM »
Ted,
While you were dead the Blazers passed the Jazz in the standings.  Now just take a deep breath and don't do anything irrational.  Glad to have you back though.
A third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. A second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. A first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

A quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.

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Offline westkoast

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2007, 02:07:15 PM »
Ted,
While you were dead the Blazers passed the Jazz in the standings.  Now just take a deep breath and don't do anything irrational.  Glad to have you back though.

How is that even possible when you don't have the ball running through AK on your offense?!?!
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Offline Skandery

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2007, 03:40:36 PM »
Quote
How is that even possible when you don't have the ball running through AK on your offense?!?!

It's very possible when all you do is pound it into Boozer.
"But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality'. And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

Offline Skandery

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2007, 04:36:34 PM »
Hey westkoast, I know that when I post undisputed facts and numbers, I might as well be talking to a wall, but here I go again anyway . . .

First can we go ahead and assume that when someone gets more (as opposed to less) assists in a game that means he is more (as opposed to less) involved in the offense for that game.  I know that should go without saying, but I just want to make sure we can agree on that at least. 
 

Utah Won-Loss record in which AK as gotten more than or equal to assists than his season average of 5: 

9-3  (75% win percentage)

Utah Won-Loss record in which AK as gotten less assists than his season average of 5:

5-10  (33% win percentage)

What conclusion do you draw?

------------------------------

Carlos Boozer Scoring Average for Utah's 14 Wins:

23.0 ppg

Carlos Boozer Scoring Average for Utah's 13 Losses: 

25.7 ppg

What conclusion do you draw?

------------------------------

Utah Record when Boozer doesn't play -- 1-0 

(I don't think Utah is a better team without Boozer I'm just posting this one for fun. ;))

-------------------------------


During Utah's 13-5 record to start the season:  Kirilenko averaged 10.8 ppg and 5.9 apg
During Utah's 1-8 record since:  Kirilenko averaged 11.4 ppg and 3.7 apg

More than 2 assists per game down for AK tells me he is being used less as a facilitator of the offense (the way he should be), and therefore leading to offensive stagnancy or inefficiency. 

==============================
Now then, as to your claim that AK's newfound role on the offense has lead to him becoming lax on defense and thereby allowing Utah's team defense to flounder.  From the other thread: 

Quote
His assist stats are up this season so I will give you that but the improved offense seems to make the defense suffer.  If AK is the anchor of that defense and he has to expend energy to create on the offensive end then I think it's a logical assumption that it is effecting him a little bit.  I am use to seeing him with 3-5 blocks every night like he had 4 nights ago.  Not use to seeing AK have 0 blocks and 1 steal.  Odd wouldn't you agree?

This year Kirilenko has averaged 2.1 bpg, SAME 2.1 bpg as last year when you claim his low offensive output was probably because he expended more energy on defense.  He has averaged 1.3 spg which is 0.2 steals more per game than last year, again refuting your claim that when he is ignored on offense, his defense becomes better.  In fact his numbers this year are only 0.4 bpg and 0.2 spg less than his career averages in both categories.  So I highly doubt, and the facts do not support, the assertion that him expending more energy on offense has lead to his downfall defensively and thereby is the reason for Utah's piss poor Team Defense.     
« Last Edit: December 20, 2007, 04:45:31 PM by Skandery »
"But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality'. And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

Offline westkoast

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2007, 06:37:43 PM »
So easy to ruffle feathers around here  :D

Everything good = Having to do with AK

Everything bad = Nothing to do with AK

Got it  ;)
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Offline Skandery

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2007, 07:32:08 PM »
Quote
Got it  ;)

Finally!!  <SIGH>

8)





We all love you westkoast, you make this board a funner place to post (more than makes up for how much WOW detracts from it  ;)


. . . Yes.  Funner is a word.
"But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality'. And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

Offline WayOutWest

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2007, 09:29:22 PM »
. . . Yes.  Funner is a word.

LOL!  Funner is a word!  :D  And I thought your stupidity only applied to basketball.
"History shouldn't be a mystery"
"Our story is real history"
"Not his story"

"My people's culture was strong, it was pure"
"And if not for that white greed"
"It would've endured"

"Laker hate causes blindness"

Offline Lurker

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Re: I LIVE!
« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2007, 07:09:36 AM »
. . . Yes.  Funner is a word.

LOL!  Funner is a word!  :D  And I thought your stupidity only applied to basketball.

You guys make this the funnest board.   ;)
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