Language of Oz fights the furphy.
If a larrikin bashed a tall poppy from the big end of town and his mate dobbed him in, he might tell the police the identity was a shonky operator. The identity, no doubt, would try to hose it down as a furphy.
A historian recently lamented the fading of Australia's unique slang, but a newcomer to the land of Oz might find the language used in the country's newspapers as startling as some of its bizarre fauna.
No worries, fossicking about in The Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary or on an education department website will provide the good oil. But be prepared for a bit more confusion.
The dictionary defines a larrikin as "a hooligan, one who acts with apparent disregard for social or political conventions" and a tall poppy as "a person who is conspicuously successful."
Larrikins are admired, tall poppies are not.
To be fair, the New South Wales education department defines larrikin somewhat differently, as "a bloke who is always enjoying himself, a harmless prankster".
Anyway, the larrikin bashes the poppy -- meaning he "violently assaults" him. But the headline to the story might read: "Shock as mate dobs in larrikin."
Back to the dictionary, which defines "dob in" as to "inform against, implicate, betray". As for shonky, that's "unreliable, dishonest"; to hose down is to "reduce the fervour of" and a furphy is "a false report or rumour, an absurd story".
The "big end of town" does not appear in the dictionary, but as it regularly turns up in business stories about tall poppies one can make a guess.
Ditto with an "identity" who might be mentioned in the social pages, as in "Sydney identity Sheila Bruce."
Most people will know that barbecues here are "barbies", but they may not realise the extent to which diminutive suffixes are used -- sometimes to discombobulating effect.
Around the world biker gangs, with their black leather jackets and reputations for violence, are feared. It's no different in Australia, except they are less manacingly called "bikie gangs."
Even the iconic bronzed blonde surfers must put up with being called "surfies". Watching the surfies from the beach could be a "fisho" -- who would not want a "bitie", which is "any creature such as an insect, spider or snake which might bite".
And while the bushies in the United States may have specific political affiliations, in Australia they just live in the vast outback -- the bush.
Also in the bush are jackeroos and jilleroos -- cowboys and cowgirls. They like to drive "utes" -- utility pick-up trucks.
One such ute driven through Sydney by a couple of young women recently was plastered with stickers proclaiming in large letters "Jilleroos do" and describing the occupants as "Young, dumb and full of rum".
Their truck should warm the heart of historian Richard Magoffin, who warned in June that Australia's "larrikin" culture based on "mateship and booze" was fading under the assault of US television shows.
"I met a kid the other day who had never heard of a schemozzle (brawl, commotion or muddle) ... another bloke at the pub called me buddy and I said, 'it's mate'," he complained.
Don't spit the dummy (get upset) mate, judging from the newspapers, she'll be right (it'll turn out okay).
