OT: Kids living up to their parents expectations

[WayOutWest]

I just got a call from my oldest daughter, 11 years old.  She got the results of her IQ test and she told me the results showed she was NOT gifted.  My heart sank but I told her not to worry, it's only one test.  I then started rambling for about a minute, probably sounded like that Charlie Brown adult talk, "wha wha wha, blah blah wha .....", kinda like I sound around here.  

I don't know about the rest of you guys but my thought process has been described by most people as "playing chess".  My very first "high level" programming job involved "C" on a micro-controller with NO debugger.  Don't know if any of you have dealt with programming in C but imagine if you can't use a debugger to step thru the code nor see the code execute in real time.  That means I have to look at every line of code and determine all the permutations of that line and then all the permutations of the permutations.  It's like having to do a "truth chart" in your head, a "truth chart" is something I remember from my HS math and geometry days.  Regardless of what the subject matter that is typically the thought process I go thru.  It drives my wife nuts cause sometimes we are talking about very personal or emotional stuff and here I am going thru all the possible scenarios.  Anyway......

I felt really bad when my baby told me she didn't score in the gifted range.  I had pushed for her testing for over two years.  I felt she was just like me in that she was just bored with school and that accounted for her low grades BUT very high test scores.  I tried getting her into the gifted program since the 2nd grade but her history didn't show she was qualified.  I went so far as to request a school phycologist (sic?) to test her and determine one way or another because I was POSITIVE she was gifted.  I remember getting into arguments with the teacher in charge of the gifted program about my girl and laying into her because she wasn't moving her a$$ fast enough to get my girl tested.  I felt that because we moved twice, from L.A. to San Diego and then back, we hurt my girls school performance.  So I'm thinking about all this stuff, how similar her bad grades and high test scores where to mine when I was her age and all the stuff that had transpired over the past 5 years at the same time trying to make her feel better about her test results when she interrupts me with a little laugh, she says her test results put her in the HIGHLY gifted range.  

That little a-hole, just like her daddy!    

[SF101]

Funny. Think its sad that you actually let your heart sink when you initially found out that she wasn't gifted. My heart would sink if I found out my daughter had a terminal disease, not because her IQ level wasn't up to par with mine.

Just a matter of putting things in perspective bro.

[Reality]

The school psychologist thought he was simply to dim to advance.  Not learning disabled, not abused, not caused by being born with a brain defect, just dim.
Just not smart.

The students name:

Al Einstein

[WayOutWest]

Funny. Think its sad that you actually let your heart sink when you initially found out that she wasn't gifted. My heart would sink if I found out my daughter had a terminal disease, not because her IQ level wasn't up to par with mine.

Just a matter of putting things in perspective bro.

I guess you're not part of the gifted group.  

I was bummed that I had pushed to get her tested and felt like I built up HER expectations only for her to be disappointed.  

It really doesn't matter to me how my kids do in school considering how poorly I did, C average.  Not too mention I graduated from HS with a 1.77 GPA, D average, yet scored 1280, 1190, 1350 and 1420 on my SAT's.  Those are scores from the old SAT scale, the new scale is easier.  I got the 1350 and 1420 after taking an 8 hours course in how to take an SAT test.  Don't even ask about my PSAT scores, after taking the PSAT's in Jr. High I thought I was an idiot!

I don't do well on tests where you have to memorize stuff but when you have to figure things out I do pretty well.

Anyway....despite "Da Man" doing everything in his power to stack the deck against me and keep me down, I'm doing pretty well for myself.

[jn]

That's hilarious dude!  I sure understand the situation of being bored in HS.  I was one of those people who's GPA went up once I got to college.  I finished HS with a 2.9 and pulled a 3.3 i college.  If I hadn't been so deluded by girls and drugs spring of my freshman year it would have been a couple points higher too.   :blink:

Sounds like you have a great kid.  Here's hoping you find the right environment for here education.

 

[WayOutWest]

That's hilarious dude!  I sure understand the situation of being bored in HS.  I was one of those people who's GPA went up once I got to college.  I finished HS with a 2.9 and pulled a 3.3 i college.  If I hadn't been so deluded by girls and drugs spring of my freshman year it would have been a couple points higher too.   :blink:

My 1.77 gpa was after I moved mountains.  I had to take two Saturday classes, two night corses for two semesters and 3 contract classes.  It was the contract classes that saved my butt.  Don't know about your parts but in L.A. Unified School system in my day they had contract classes where you got a course sylabus (sic?) that outlined the homework and test dates.  I would finish a 2 month contract class in one week in order to make it to graduation.  The classes were not very hard and alot of the books that were required I had read in Jr. High.  My GPA in tradeschool/college was a 3.6 year one, 3.8 year 2 and 3.4 year 3.  I now understand why a bachelors degree is called a BS.

Sounds like you have a great kid.  Here's hoping you find the right environment for here education.

That was the whole reason for my pushing for her to be tested by a shrink.  For Jr. High my daughter had the choice of a horrid Jr. High down the street that's been going down hill for years of the now infamous Jr. High Mount Vernon.  Mount Vernon Jr. High in L.A. is considered the absolute WORSE educational institute in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!  They had a 2 hour documentary about how bad that school is in regards to education and student SAFETY!  What a POS!  Yet we're spending BILLIONS on the space program!

Hopefully now my kid can get into the school we requested, if not I'm going to bite the bullet and send her to private school.  My choice is 800 bucks a month for a non-religous school or about 200-300 for catholic/jewish/christian school.  I'll probably go with the christian school, wouldn't want my daughter around pedophiles aka catholics, nor do I want my daughter to be better with numbers and buisness than me by allowing her to goto a jewish school.  I'm actually surprised jews are opening up their schools to non-jewish kids, POS catholics won't do the same but you can always buy your catholic card.

[Derek Bodner]

Don't really like the idea of IQ tests or the matter.  Or atleast revealing these results to the kids.

If you score high, some will take that and consequently do less work, thinking success will come to them.

If you score low, it could make them think they're inadequate.

Also agree on not doing good on memorization.  Teach me concepts and I have no problem.  Ask me to memorize a chapter, and unless it's something I find very interesting, I'll lose interest.

Guess that's why I'm more into web-development, programming and database fields.

[sf101]

I didn't apply myself and failed 8th grade!  After BEGGING my mom to send me to summer school, I straightened up, but not by much. Took blowoff classes all through high school, and I graduated with a C average.  Went to community college partime for a few years; when I joined the military reserves, that really set me straight.  I applied myself more in school, but still only had like a 2.5 my first few years.  THEN I STOPPED GOING ALL TOGETHER.  Quit college my junior year, couldn't afford to go back after I got married, got buried in debt, had children, etc...

That was just a copout. After a 6 year layoff, decided to go back fulltime, and worked fulltime. Graduated 2 years ago with my History degree, Cum Laude with a 3.7 GPA.  It's all about maturity level, my first few years of college, all I cared about was my fraternity parties, scoring with chicks and getting laid.

Now I"m married, so getting laid of course, is always THE LAST THING ON MY MIND!   :lol:  

[JoMal]

Not too mention I graduated from HS with a 1.77 GPA, D average, yet scored 1280, 1190, 1350 and 1420 on my SAT's. .....
Anyway....despite "Da Man" doing everything in his power to stack the deck against me and keep me down, I'm doing pretty well for myself.

A 1.77 GPA in high school, huh.

Yeah....I can see where "Da Man" was responsible for doing everything in his power to hold you back.    :lol:      :lol:  

[JoMal]

That was the whole reason for my pushing for her to be tested by a shrink.  For Jr. High my daughter had the choice of a horrid Jr. High down the street that's been going down hill for years of the now infamous Jr. High Mount Vernon.  Mount Vernon Jr. High in L.A. is considered the absolute WORSE educational institute in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!  They had a 2 hour documentary about how bad that school is in regards to education and student SAFETY!  What a POS!  Yet we're spending BILLIONS on the space program!

Hopefully now my kid can get into the school we requested, if not I'm going to bite the bullet and send her to private school.  My choice is 800 bucks a month for a non-religous school or about 200-300 for catholic/jewish/christian school.  I'll probably go with the christian school, wouldn't want my daughter around pedophiles aka catholics, nor do I want my daughter to be better with numbers and buisness than me by allowing her to goto a jewish school.  I'm actually surprised jews are opening up their schools to non-jewish kids, POS catholics won't do the same but you can always buy your catholic card.

Just do not encourage her to go into the computer science field. I would venture from what I have been reading that the profession might be a bit overloaded. Don't any of you guys work for a living?

That, plus the future will likely see many of these jobs shipped overseas where the labor is cheaper, ala clothes manufacturers.  

[WayOutWest]

Just do not encourage her to go into the computer science field. I would venture from what I have been reading that the profession might be a bit overloaded. Don't any of you guys work for a living?

I worked hard to get her into the gifted program, no way I let her throw it all away by going into the computer field!  Bunch of losers!

That, plus the future will likely see many of these jobs shipped overseas where the labor is cheaper, ala clothes manufacturers.

JoMal, where have you been the past 5 years?  Tech jobs, including programming, have gone oversees.  Most notably to India.  If you ever buy a computer direct from the manufacturer you'll know what I mean as soon as you try and get tech support.  Just check out the Dell Customer BBS, you'll laugh your arse off.

The FACT that alot of high tech jobs are going to India is such mainstream common knowledge that it was the subject of last weeks "The West Wing" episode.

This country will turn into a service and sales economy before you can say tariff!

[JoMal]

JoMal, where have you been the past 5 years?  Tech jobs, including programming, have gone oversees.  Most notably to India.  If you ever buy a computer direct from the manufacturer you'll know what I mean as soon as you try and get tech support.  Just check out the Dell Customer BBS, you'll laugh your arse off.

The FACT that alot of high tech jobs are going to India is such mainstream common knowledge that it was the subject of last weeks "The West Wing" episode.

This country will turn into a service and sales economy before you can say tariff!

Actually, WOW, I am very aware that these jobs are draining out of this country more each year. That the exodus should explode in the next decade even more was my point. Your daughter won't be affected by what has already been happening as much as the future will affect her choices and job availability.

But I find it interesting to see that most of the people on this board are in relatively the same field of work. While I obviously use a computer for my job, I am a researcher who uses and manipulates data and call in tech support if something goes kapooie (tech lingo, sorry if it is too procedural for any of you) with my system.