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Author Topic: OT: Ted's having marital problems.  (Read 2024 times)

Offline Ted

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« on: May 11, 2004, 12:53:22 PM »
I've got a question for all of you guys.

What do you do when you come home to find your little one-year-old kid walking around in brand spanking new Shaq-brand baby high tops. I mean, when I saw that little fella struttin' around with the number 34 on his feet, I almost went Jason Kidd on someone! SHAQ SHOES!?!? In my house?!?! $#^#*@()(#*$^#&*

Too bad profanity is against my religion, cuz I lost my salvation in one fell swoop when I saw that silhouette of a large gorilla hanging from a basketball rim.


Well, truthfully, I reacted with more control and composure than that. After educating my dear wife on why the very reasonable price attached to the shoes does not outweigh the evil influence they can have on young impressionable minds, we agreed that the kid wouldn't wear them when he was old enough to know better.

Do you think I handled the situation wisely?
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Offline westkoast

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2004, 01:00:13 PM »
Get him some John Stockton shorts so that way his little member wont grow......that will cancel out the Shaq shoes (and his chances of comming sins in the future)
« Last Edit: May 11, 2004, 01:01:03 PM by westkoast »
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Guest

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2004, 01:01:40 PM »
"Get him some john stockton shorts so that way his little member wont grow......that will cancel out the Shaq shoes (and his chances of comming sins in the future)"

 :lol:   :lol:  Ouch!
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Offline WayOutWest

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2004, 01:06:48 PM »
Quote
I've got a question for all of you guys.

What do you do when you come home to find your little one-year-old kid walking around in brand spanking new Shaq-brand baby high tops. I mean, when I saw that little fella struttin' around with the number 34 on his feet, I almost went Jason Kidd on someone! SHAQ SHOES!?!? In my house?!?! $#^#*@()(#*$^#&*

Too bad profanity is against my religion, cuz I lost my salvation in one fell swoop when I saw that silhouette of a large gorilla hanging from a basketball rim.


Well, truthfully, I reacted with more control and composure than that. After educating my dear wife on why the very reasonable price attached to the shoes does not outweigh the evil influence they can have on young impressionable minds, we agreed that the kid wouldn't wear them when he was old enough to know better.

Do you think I handled the situation wisely?
Ted,

Put the "Parental Lock" on the Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon channel.  That will teach you wife a lesson she won't soon forget.

Then tell her the next time she F's up like that again you'll take away her Yigi-oh cards and GameBoy Advance SP!

As far as your kid, my first instinct would have been to stone him or at least smash his feet but he's pretty much an innocent in all this.
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jn

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2004, 01:08:06 PM »
Ooops, the guest is me.  
 
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Offline WayOutWest

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2004, 01:10:43 PM »
Quote
Ooops, the guest is me.
So does that mean the "ouch" is a snippy one?
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"History shouldn't be a mystery"
"Our story is real history"
"Not his story"

"My people's culture was strong, it was pure"
"And if not for that white greed"
"It would've endured"

"Laker hate causes blindness"

jn

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2004, 01:24:33 PM »
Yes I'm finally having my Briss. The Barmitzvah is next week so be sure and bring me an envelope.  Just because I'm a Methodist turned atheist doesn't mean I shouldn't cash in.  ;)

"There's no need to get snippy Mr. Lundegaard."
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Offline SPURSX3

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2004, 01:40:04 PM »
WHOA!!  thats grounds for divorce and reason enough for Child Protective Services to get involved down here in Texas!!!  

i wold sneak the abominations out of you house at night, cut a chicken head off while speaking latin gibberish, light some of the stinky green stuff while at the same time dance naked around the abominations playing the bongos with one hand, hlding the headless chicken with the other and puffing away on the stinky green.....oh and you need bob marley music....this must be done at midnight...


if you dont have bob marley you CAN substitute it with some Africa Bambata.......................or in desperate cases and all else fails....play some Olivia Nuetron Bomb...


then burn those things TED!  BURN THEM!!    :ph34r:  
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Offline JoMal

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2004, 01:58:11 PM »
Have the little tyke walk around wearing nothing BUT the little hightop Shaqqy shoes. Take him everywhere that anti-Shaq sentiment is high. Expose him to the kind of wanton street abuse reserved for politicians.

By the time he is in junior high and you have spent thousands of dollars on therapy to cure his insecurity, I would bet he would be over his O'Neal fixation.  
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Guest_Randy

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OT: Ted's having marital problems.
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2004, 02:40:04 PM »
Quote
I've got a question for all of you guys.

What do you do when you come home to find your little one-year-old kid walking around in brand spanking new Shaq-brand baby high tops. I mean, when I saw that little fella struttin' around with the number 34 on his feet, I almost went Jason Kidd on someone! SHAQ SHOES!?!? In my house?!?! $#^#*@()(#*$^#&*

Too bad profanity is against my religion, cuz I lost my salvation in one fell swoop when I saw that silhouette of a large gorilla hanging from a basketball rim.


Well, truthfully, I reacted with more control and composure than that. After educating my dear wife on why the very reasonable price attached to the shoes does not outweigh the evil influence they can have on young impressionable minds, we agreed that the kid wouldn't wear them when he was old enough to know better.

Do you think I handled the situation wisely?
Here's what you need to do -- show her you are a real man and go buy him a #34 jersey as well!  
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