.....JoMal's season opening review of his Sacramento Kings.
Which George Clooney movie best describes the Kings play this coming year?
1. "Three Kings" - Classic tale of the Kings' weekly Injury List/Suspension List. Currently we have Mike Bibby and draftee Spencer Hawes on the former and Ron Artest and Justin Williams on the latter.
Oops - Make that Four Kings
2. "Ocean's 13" - Or the number players who would at best fill out the benches of better teams in the NBA, but who the Kings likely will carry this season on their roster. Why "Ocean"? Because the majority of them will be floundering "at sea" just to look like they know where to find the bench.
3. "O Brother, Where Art Thou" - As the stomach turns on this season, it will be a real treat to see how often errant passes miss wrong-turning players as they make a disappearance act out of new coach Reggie Theus' offensive plan. Front row Arco fans should be issued helmets.
4. "Good Night, and Good Luck" - the pregame admonishment of the Arco Arena announcer prior to each home game so the players know where they stand.
5. "Solaris" - A really, really bad movie. Nothing need be added here.
6. "Intollerable Cruelty" - What viewers of any King's game will claim in their law suits against the Maloofs for forcing this crap on us.
7. "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" - The name for Ron Artest's Blog.
8. "The Perfect Storm" - The name inside Mike Bibby's underwear.
9. "Michael Clayton" - Can he shoot three's? Who cares, sign him.
10. "From Dusk Till Dawn" - My drinking habits for the balance of the season.
Please feel free to comment. I may not answer as I am currently cutting my wrists and the blood is getting all over my keyboard. Feeling.....faint....not sein;ng cleaierly anyyhloodger.........
buh bye......