* White House Backs Bill to Outsource Torture
Despite calls from Congress to keep those jobs here.
* BUSH TWINS WORKING PHONE LINES FOR DAD'S CAMPAIGN
And lining up dates for inaugural ball.
* Video Game Lets You Command John Kerry's Swift Boat as He Patrols the
Mekong Delta in 1969 - Another game lets you command George Bush's
Oldsmobile as he bar-hops around Houston in 1972.
* Poll: Bush Leads Among Voters
Likely to Vote for Bush
* Chief Justice Rehnquist to Reenact Pivotal Role in Arizona Politics
On Election Day, he'll harass an elderly black woman and dissuade her from
voting.
* Republican National Committee Ad: "Liberals Want to Ban the Bible
Take your gun, kill your dog, eat your children."
* President's Hometown Paper Endorses Kerry
Refuses to support candidate who never reads newspapers.
* Study: Women Will Beat Men in 100-Meter Race by 2156
Men projected to win Pillsbury Bake-Off by 2148.
* Whew! Large Asteroid Passes Within 1 Million Miles of Earth
It's deflected off course at the last minute by ornery explosives expert Bruce
Willis and his hand-picked team of brilliant, if undisciplined, misfits. :bs: