Author Topic: Kobe got DOGGED on ESPN last night.  (Read 5536 times)

Offline Ted

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Re: Kobe got DOGGED on ESPN last night.
« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2009, 11:55:32 AM »
They brought up the rape accusation...

Accusation . . .  ::)

I guess I missed the trail and verdict...  ::)  ....oh wait, the ho took the money...it's beutiful when a plan comes together....

Sorry. It's a classic example. An average Joe without the money and the fame would be in jail right now.
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"I think the responsibility the Democrats have may rest more in resisting any efforts by Republicans in the Congress or by me when I was President to put some standards in and tighten up a little bit on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac." ~Bill Clinton

Offline WayOutWest

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Re: Kobe got DOGGED on ESPN last night.
« Reply #16 on: June 08, 2009, 12:15:23 PM »
Sorry. It's a classic example. An average Joe without the money and the fame would be in jail right now.

Following your line of thinking, if it was an average Joe without the money and fame, the incident wouldn't have happened in the first place.
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Offline Joe Vancil

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Re: Kobe got DOGGED on ESPN last night.
« Reply #17 on: June 08, 2009, 12:18:56 PM »
Sorry. It's a classic example. An average Joe without the money and the fame would be in jail right now.

Following your line of thinking, if it was an average Joe without the money and fame, the incident wouldn't have happened in the first place.

And, amazingly enough, even though in many cases, it's NOT the average Joe, but someone with money and fame, and the incident *STILL* doesn't happen.

Come on.  How many rape allegations can you think of against All-Stars?

Joe

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Offline Ted

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What a coincidence!
« Reply #18 on: June 08, 2009, 03:08:54 PM »
LOS ANGELES, June 8 (Reuters) - In a shocking development of the once-settled Kobe Bryant sexual assault case, the Eagle County (Colorado) District Attorney announced the indictment of Kobe Bryant's money and fame on charges of forcible sexual assault. John Sponder, DA, comments: "We can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Bryant's money and fame not only created the situation, but gave him the confidence or arrogance to perform the act with which he was once charged. Thus, under the law, Mr. Bryant's money and fame are accessories after the fact to the crime perpetrated that night on that chair."

This turn in events comes in the wake of Bryant's stellar performances in Games 1 and 2 of the NBA Finals. When asked how this development might affect him in upcoming Finals games, Bryant appeared somewhat ambivalent. "Well, lucky thing is my money and fame don't do nothin' for me on the basketball court . . . unless you're talking 'bout the refs of course . . . but Stern's got them in my . . . uh . . . anyways, I strenuously support my money and fame's innocence in the difficult situation in Colorado. And although they did play a pivotal part in getting me in that situation, they played an even bigger part in getting me out. So I'll always have their back." The interviewer noted that Kobe Bryant did not purse or lick his lips once during the entire interview.

League experts disagree with Bryant. ESPN Insider John Hollinger says, "If Bryant's money and fame are convicted for these crimes, it could be a crippling blow for his career. He will have lost three of the six qualities of superstardom that made him the greatest player in the league; i.e., fame, money, talent, work ethic, competitive spirit, and of course, class, which he put in severe danger when he bent that girl over that chair, and to which he said 'bye-bye' forever when he ratted out teammate Shaquille O'Neal for sleeping around."

On a related note, sources close to Bryant's wife Vanessa say she is monitoring the situation closely. A close friend who wished to remain anonymous said, "The loss of trust, chastity, and faithfulness was one thing, but if she loses Kobe's money and fame . . . mmm Honey!, she done with that man!"
« Last Edit: June 08, 2009, 03:18:28 PM by Ted »
"You take him Perk!" ~Kevin Garnett

"I think the responsibility the Democrats have may rest more in resisting any efforts by Republicans in the Congress or by me when I was President to put some standards in and tighten up a little bit on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac." ~Bill Clinton

Offline WayOutWest

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Re: What a coincidence!
« Reply #19 on: June 08, 2009, 03:16:42 PM »
LOS ANGELES, June 8 (Reuters) - In a shocking development of the once-settled Kobe Bryant sexual assault case, the Eagle County (Colorado) District Attorney announced the indictment of Kobe Bryant's money and fame on charges of forcible sexual assault. This turn in events comes in the wake of Bryant's stellar performances in Games 1 and 2 of the NBA Finals. When asked how this development might affect him in upcoming Finals games, Bryant appeared somewhat ambivalent. "Well, lucky thing is my money and fame don't do nothin' for me on the basketball court . . . unless you're talking 'bout the refs. But anyways, I strenuously support my money and fame's innocence in the difficult situation in Colorado, although they did play a pivotal part in getting me in that situation, they played an even bigger part in getting me out." The interviewer noted that Kobe Bryant did not purse or lick his lips once during the entire interview.

League experts disagree with Bryant. ESPN Insider John Hollinger says, "If Bryant's money and fame are convicted for these crimes, it could be a crippling blow for his career. He will have lost three of the six qualities of superstardom that made him the greatest player in the league; i.e., fame, money, talent, work ethic, competitive spirit, and of course, class, which he put in severe danger when he bent that girl over that chair, and to which he said 'bye-bye' forever when he ratted out teammate Shaquille O'Neal for sleeping around."

 :D
"History shouldn't be a mystery"
"Our story is real history"
"Not his story"

"My people's culture was strong, it was pure"
"And if not for that white greed"
"It would've endured"

"Laker hate causes blindness"

Offline Ted

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Re: What a coincidence!
« Reply #20 on: June 08, 2009, 03:19:05 PM »
LOS ANGELES, June 8 (Reuters) - In a shocking development of the once-settled Kobe Bryant sexual assault case, the Eagle County (Colorado) District Attorney announced the indictment of Kobe Bryant's money and fame on charges of forcible sexual assault. This turn in events comes in the wake of Bryant's stellar performances in Games 1 and 2 of the NBA Finals. When asked how this development might affect him in upcoming Finals games, Bryant appeared somewhat ambivalent. "Well, lucky thing is my money and fame don't do nothin' for me on the basketball court . . . unless you're talking 'bout the refs. But anyways, I strenuously support my money and fame's innocence in the difficult situation in Colorado, although they did play a pivotal part in getting me in that situation, they played an even bigger part in getting me out." The interviewer noted that Kobe Bryant did not purse or lick his lips once during the entire interview.

League experts disagree with Bryant. ESPN Insider John Hollinger says, "If Bryant's money and fame are convicted for these crimes, it could be a crippling blow for his career. He will have lost three of the six qualities of superstardom that made him the greatest player in the league; i.e., fame, money, talent, work ethic, competitive spirit, and of course, class, which he put in severe danger when he bent that girl over that chair, and to which he said 'bye-bye' forever when he ratted out teammate Shaquille O'Neal for sleeping around."

 :D

Dang! You read it too fast! I made some "improvements."
"You take him Perk!" ~Kevin Garnett

"I think the responsibility the Democrats have may rest more in resisting any efforts by Republicans in the Congress or by me when I was President to put some standards in and tighten up a little bit on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac." ~Bill Clinton

Offline WayOutWest

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Re: What a coincidence!
« Reply #21 on: June 08, 2009, 03:24:21 PM »
LOS ANGELES, June 8 (Reuters) - In a shocking development of the once-settled Kobe Bryant sexual assault case, the Eagle County (Colorado) District Attorney announced the indictment of Kobe Bryant's money and fame on charges of forcible sexual assault. John Sponder, DA, comments: "We can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Bryant's money and fame not only created the situation, but gave him the confidence or arrogance to perform the act with which he was once charged. Thus, under the law, Mr. Bryant's money and fame are accessories after the fact to the crime perpetrated that night on that chair."

This turn in events comes in the wake of Bryant's stellar performances in Games 1 and 2 of the NBA Finals. When asked how this development might affect him in upcoming Finals games, Bryant appeared somewhat ambivalent. "Well, lucky thing is my money and fame don't do nothin' for me on the basketball court . . . unless you're talking 'bout the refs of course . . . but Stern's got them in my . . . uh . . . anyways, I strenuously support my money and fame's innocence in the difficult situation in Colorado. And although they did play a pivotal part in getting me in that situation, they played an even bigger part in getting me out. So I'll always have their back." The interviewer noted that Kobe Bryant did not purse or lick his lips once during the entire interview.

League experts disagree with Bryant. ESPN Insider John Hollinger says, "If Bryant's money and fame are convicted for these crimes, it could be a crippling blow for his career. He will have lost three of the six qualities of superstardom that made him the greatest player in the league; i.e., fame, money, talent, work ethic, competitive spirit, and of course, class, which he put in severe danger when he bent that girl over that chair, and to which he said 'bye-bye' forever when he ratted out teammate Shaquille O'Neal for sleeping around."

On a related note, sources close to Bryant's wife Vanessa say she is monitoring the situation closely. A close friend who wished to remain anonymous said, "The loss of trust, chastity, and faithfulness was one thing, but if she loses Kobe's money and fame . . . mmm Honey!, she done with that man!"

YOU made improvements?  WOW, I thought the story was from the Onion, didn't realize you wrote it.  Excellent job, right on the money, no pun intended.   ;D
"History shouldn't be a mystery"
"Our story is real history"
"Not his story"

"My people's culture was strong, it was pure"
"And if not for that white greed"
"It would've endured"

"Laker hate causes blindness"

Offline Joe Vancil

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Re: Kobe got DOGGED on ESPN last night.
« Reply #22 on: June 08, 2009, 04:06:03 PM »
That's HILARIOUS, Ted!  Great job!

Joe

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