Haiku smack talk

[Reality]

This was taken from a Spurs smacking Mavs discussion.
Mavs starting it with their annoying proclaimance of championship banner, of which they hold exactly zero.
But I'm sure we can make some adjustments and insert other teams here

Like the Maytag Man
The Dallas trophy maker
Is a lonely man

That bear hug defense
But I have a solution
Quick punch to your nuts

Make the Spurs believe
You can't win by playing bigs
Master plan engaged

The Mav's Dynasty
Dallas loves to talk about
canceled before start

To Dirky:
I can't hit my shots
Gainst this defense need more help
Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet

What? Not a foul  call?
I must fake an injury
oh crap, my foot hurt.

Dirk for MVP
He is unstoppable now
kraut-breath is deadly

Dirk cry all night long
No Nashie, No Hasselhoff
Dirk sad, oh so sad

It crosses my path
But one swing casts it aside
Damned bicycle

After Friday's game
Stationary bike not safe
Wrath of big German

Now we make our plans
Everyone loves a parade
Wait, not in South Beach!

When he's feeling down
It's sweet music to his ears
David Hasselhoff

2-0 series lead
Championship on the way
Oops, we are the Mavs

Mavfan did smack back:

who will shoot a three?
horry horry, no worry
all washed up...sorry

Geriatric Spurs
Plastic hips and dentures too
Need that Holy Grail

[Reality]

Eat fat, Shaq much do
Deactivate Phil no will
Riley wear champ ring

Kobe lane drive do
Contact none like wind on beach
fouls shot ratings reach

Play tall no Pop do
Champion repeat is thru
fart Manu undo

[Joe Vancil]

Don't post bad haiku
We never want to hear it
Talk basketball here

[WayOutWest]

Eat fat, Shaq much do
Deactivate Phil no will
Riley wear champ ring

Kobe lane drive do
Contact none like wind on beach
fouls shot ratings reach

Play tall no Pop do
Champion repeat is thru
fart Manu undo

Dang, you suck!

[Reality]

Much snow freeze Mizzou
Cause Joe indoors all of time
Fresh air outside need

[WayOutWest]

Much snow freeze Mizzou
Cause Joe indoors all of time
Fresh air outside need

You sound like a retarded Yoda.  It's forced and crappy.

[westkoast]

Much snow freeze Mizzou
Cause Joe indoors all of time
Fresh air outside need

You sound like a retarded Yoda.  It's forced and crappy.

 

[Reality]

Much snow freeze Mizzou
Cause Joe indoors all of time
Fresh air outside need

You sound like a retarded Yoda.  It's forced and crappy.

Near Staples live WOW
No championship parade
Make grouchy 4 years

[Joe Vancil]

More Reality
Feed him to a Polar Bear
Silence will be sweet

[WayOutWest]

He's dazed and confused
The Laker hate is a ruse
Reeks of Kobe's jock

P.S. The last line was edited for our younger viewers.

[Reality]

Twin 'tards WOW and koast
garage clean finds Kings-Lakes tapes
good results for you


Global warming bad
Joe too much water swallow
Need God intervene

[WayOutWest]

Twin 'tards WOW and koast
garage clean finds Kings-Lakes tapes
good results for you


Global warming bad
Joe too much water swallow
Need God intervene

Your content still sucks and now you're not even doing Haiku.  Read up on the structure of a Haiku.

[Joe Vancil]

I just don't get it
What's so tough about haiku?
Just simple structure

Seriously, I have never thought of haiku as anything interesting at all.  To me, it seems rather pointless.  In fact, I think haiku is counter-productive, forcing the use of inadequate description just to fit within the syllable limitation.  Give me free-form writing, where I can say what I want to say, and cover for a lack of vocabulary by dancing around the particular meaning I want while not necessarily knowing the word for it.  Can't do that in haiku.  Need to use the word "vindictive", but only have two syllables?  Oops.  Now you're stuck with "spiteful," which is close to the same meaning, but not quite.

I'm not trying to use language for art (at least in this medium).  And I don't see what is so artistic about a rigid structure.

[Lurker]

I'm not trying to use language for art (at least in this medium).  And I don't see what is so artistic about a rigid structure.

It's quite simple, Joe
Sublime descriptive beauty
In limited words.


The true art in Haiku is to not make the words fit the rigid structure.  Anyone can play around and accomplish that...just look at some examples here.  The art comes from using the rigid structure and knowledge of the language to create a flowing description.